"Whenever I go for walks, I troll for love from anonymous dogs. First, I ask the human owner if I can pet their dog. Then I get down on my knees and the dogs love me up and lick the wax out of my ears. I nuzzle their necks and practically give them a hickey. What I'd really love to do is to lie on a field with a hundred dogs and just roll around and have an orgy of affection. I'd prefer that to a human orgy."
It's maybe weird that the single passage I have most personally identified with in my recent internet history was written by a middle aged man in 2003. What can I say? Mr. Ames and I clearly see eye to eye on the topic of our canine friends. His Slate diary is aimlessly compelling.