Having said all that... I'm going to show you what is in my bag! Surprise! I was having brunch with one of my friends at the weekend and she wanted to borrow my phone - cue handbag search. The preliminary search didn't yield anything so I ended up emptying my entire bag all over our table. Ultimately it was an abortive exercise (the damn thing was in my jacket pocket) but the women at the table next to us seemed so impressed/bemused that it all felt worth while. I thought I might as well let you share in their joy/fear...
Clockwise from handbag (more or less):
- 2 x lipstick, 2 x lipgloss: I have two 'lip pockets' in my handbag. One always contains the Revlon lipstick and lipgloss either/both of which are my go to discreet lip options and the other normally contains two more vibrant choices. Today we have an orange-y tomato gloss from Topshop and a classic red from No. 7.
- Marc Jacobs heart mirror, very battered.
- Jeffrey Eugenides' new novel, The Marriage Plot: this is a hulking great hardback but I got it for Christmas and I've been looking forward to reading it for ages so it is currently taking up an unhelpfully large percentage of my bag.
- Beloved iPod, quite battered.
- Wallet, very battered: would quite like to replace this but it will remain in service until it falls apart.
- Whistles cashmere mittens: a present from my sister for breaking a pair of boots that I lent her. I didn't really like them anyway and the mittens are blissful so this was a win for me.
- Nail varnish: doesn't match the colour I'm wearing at the moment or my previous two or three colours - will be removed shortly if I remember.
- Heart-shaped headphone splitter: I always think this will come in handy but it hasn't yet...
- Ephemera: extra large hair clip, kirby grips, pins from a recent up do, button (don't know what garment this originally came from), perfume sample (unmarked - can't remember what it is), drugs (aspirins and anti-histamines), receipts, business card, coupon for tea.
- USB card thing.
- Oil blotting sheets: another thing that I always think will come in handy but hasn't.
- Cruddy phone because I break/lose phones a lot.
- Harmonica: a present from R in my stocking. I LOVE it, my family already hate it. I can't play it per se but I have big Bob Dylan dreams and I'm really enjoying making loud, atonal noises on it for now.
- Oyster card, young persons railcard, about four months worth of old train tickets.
- This year's Moleskin diary.
- A posh A-Z of London so I can find my way around sans smart phone.
- My current notebook: a rather smart Petit Prince one.
- Biro, Sharpie (always useful), Benefit concealer (rubbish - don't recommend).
- Rosebud Salve: a thoroughly superior lip balm.
- Silly Putty: much more useful and enjoyable than either the headphone splitter or the oil blotting sheets.
Other occasional handbag visitors: a disposable camera that never seems to get finished and/or my actual camera, some kind of mint or gum, sweets and other food sorts, another pair of my favourite gloves, lone to do lists, nail files, sunglasses, uncomfortable earrings, yet more lipsticks.
You enjoyed that, right? Now I just need to cram it all back into my magic bag. It has been remarked on more than one occasion that my bag has the impressive Tardis/Mary Poppins quality of being much bigger on the inside. Hence why I like it obviously.
Good, clean, narcissistic fun.